A Story of Mom
Anne was hopeful this morning for the first time since last weekend. Last weekend, her mother, Ileen, had left the stove on overnight on Saturday and didn’t even notice it. The pot of water she had on the stove had boiled dry and the smell of burnt pot hung in the air. It seemed lucky that Anne was stopping by that Sunday morning to take her to church and noticed the smell and the low flame on the stove.
This wasn’t the first time. Neighbors had called a week or so ago when her fire alarm was going off. Ileen had taken out her hearing aids and didn’t wake. Anne was Ileen’s agent on her Financial Power of Attorney. So far, she’d been helping with bills and accounts. At home, Anne had removed the stove knobs and replaced smoke detectors. Last month, mom had gotten into a fender bender on her way to the grocery store and Anne helped with the paperwork related to the accident.
Safety vs. Independence
Ileen lives at home alone. Ileen loves her house and her garden and plans to live there until she dies. Anne wants Ileen to move to an assisted living facility. There’s one not far from Anne’s house and she could see her mom nearly every day. Ileen is dead set against it. Ileen and Anne got into quite an argument about it last weekend after the second stove incident. Anne is sincerely worried about Ileen’s safety at home.
Anne called Ileen’s estate planning and eldercare attorney to ask if she could force Ileen to move to an assisted living facility. The attorney’s answer was disappointing. She told Anne that Anne could not force her mom to move and that the Financial Power of Attorney allows her to follow her mom’s wishes and what her mom would want. If her mom’s desires are not known, then to act in her mom’s best interest.
Anne knows what her mom wants. Mom wants to stay home. The attorney reminded Anne that she was obligated to view the circumstances from her mom’s perspective and to follow her mother’s wishes and, if her wishes were not known, her best interests. Even though Anne felt that her mom’s best interests would be met by a move to assisted living, she knew what her mom really wanted.
What Mom Wants Is What She Gets: But How?
When Anne responded, “yes” to Ileen’s attorney’s question about whether her mom had savings or long-term care insurance to pay for an in-home caregiver, Anne realized that hiring a caregiver was something she hadn’t tried yet. She hadn’t even thought about it! The attorney had referrals, too. Anne was hopeful as she was driving to her mom’s house that morning to meet the new in-home caregiver with her mom and to meet the handyman to disable her stove. Maybe Anne could worry less about Ileen and Ileen could live at home safely.
“Thanks for your time and perspective, Attorney Smith!” Anne exclaimed. “I wish I had known the boundaries of a Financial Power of Attorney better in the beginning when mom created her estate plan.”
If you would like to better understand the boundaries of Financial Powers of Attorney and the requirement to look at circumstances from the principal’s perspective, then we’d love to have you in our class POA 101: Power of Attorney Agent Essentials – You Have the Authority. Now what? at the UNG Cumming Campus and online.
Learn more and register here for the in-person event and here for the online session on the same topic.
